5 Ways to Make the Holidays Meaningful for a Sick Grandparent
estimate read time: 4 minutes
Maybe their energy is low and they're fatigued, or perhaps their diagnosis has taken a turn for the worse, either way you are starting to sense the holidays are going to look different this year for you and your family. Perhaps it won’t be possible to have extended family around, or they're making it clear they don’t want or aren’t able to participate in the hustle and bustle of the season. Whatever the case may be, respecting a Grandparent’s wish is key. Below are a few ways that a little creativity can create expanded spaces for both to coexist: their desire to keep it low key and your wish to spend meaningful time together. Any way it happens, presence can be the best present.
Help them shop online or pick up orders in store
This day and age, so much can be done with a few clicks on our phone. They may not be able to get to the mall themselves but the services of a personal shopping concierge can go a long way! Sit together to come up with a list they feel good about, and take it from there. Their appreciation for not having to battle the crowds will be immense.
Set up a backyard playdate / campfire
Due to all the germs, keeping grandkids away might be what the doctor ordered but we became really good at outdoor time together during the pandemic, remember? Fire up the chimnea, and keep it easy by ordering a carton of hot chocolate from Tim Hortons (with a box of Timbits, of course). Let the kids enjoy the snow while the adults nestle in around the fire. If meaningful distance is required from germs or from anyone who’s sick, let some of the healthy adults head inside to watch from the kitchen window as the runny noses and snowball fights stay outside. Grandma would enjoy the company!
Curl up together to watch a curated family slideshow
Photos are powerful, and goodness we have so many on our phones these days, don’t we?! Compile your top 50 photos of the year, or look through your ‘favourites’ tagged in your phone to create a special slideshow you can airdrop to your smart tv or show on your laptop to everyone in the family room. Add in some popcorn and cookies, and perhaps a festive drink, and cozy up together to watch the year in review. You can use Powerpoint, Google Slides, Canva or even something more polished like Animoto.
TIP: If your grandparent’s appearance has changed significantly over the past year due to their illness, seeing photos of a previous version of themself might be distressing. In that case, find photos that focus on the grandkids: those smiles always bring joy, and seeing how the kids have grown over the last 12 months will surely be a sight for sore eyes.
Appeal to the senses
Any given day can bring with it a slew of emotional and physical challenges and limitations, but consider the ways in which you could appeal to their senses:
Touch: offer a warm towel hand massage or bring them heated slippers or a weighted blanket to help them have a more peaceful midday nap
Smell: offer to bake a batch of festive cookies in the kitchen while they rest, or ask them to throw on an apron and join in! The scent of fresh baked goods throughout the house is sure to bring calm and they may even want to share some with neighbours as a festive gesture
Sight: offer to join them on the couch in watching some classic holiday movies; or put the fireplace channel on while you catch up together
Taste: bring them a treat from their favourite bakery (if their diet allows), what eatery do they miss the most? Bring them something from there. If their diet is more simple, procure or cook up some homemade broth. Soup is often a hug in a mug, and the aroma is always appealing!
Hearing: read a book out loud to them, pick a holiday story or even a book of poetry. Turn on the local radio station playing holiday music, and let it play quietly in the background during your visit
Make DIY ornaments together
Gather supplies for an easy to assemble, yet rewarding craft experience. Pick something you can join in together, or you feel comfortable doing alone if they prefer to watch. When it’s complete, ensure there’s a spot for it’s hanging or give it to them during a gift exchange. Try a Rudolph Reindeer Photo Ornament, Yarn Wrapped Letter Ornament, or a Mini Wood Bead Wreath Ornament
Lastly, an important note about photo taking: During the holidays, it's common to take family photos, especially with the grandkids. You may even wish to capture time together as you create the experiences listed above. However, when there’s a sick grandparent in the mix it's crucial to prioritize consent and respect their wishes. Take the time to explicitly ask if they want to participate in the photo, or perhaps join the next one. If they're feeling tuckered out or self-conscious, don't pressure them into posing. The most important aspect to consider here is their comfort level. Check in for consent, guidance and feedback.
There are many ways to ensure our grandparents feel included, invited and cared for during the Holidays. Focus on what you can impact, and what brings you and them joy. If you’re struggling with ideas, or could use a brainstorm session, I would love nothing more than to help you curate a list of possibilities. Let’s connect.
Take good care,
Sandra